My 9 year old cousin bought the game Left 4 dead. Here is his review.
I got a new game, it’s about zombies and blood and guns! SWEET.
This is the logo. If that doesn’t scare you, I don’t know what would.
He should probably get that looked at.
I started the game! After waiting twenty minutes for the files to unlock. Then I shot some zombies in the head! BOOM! BLAM! AWESOME! I even get to play with other people online! Here is a picture of my new friend:
Francis helps me by giving me a round of buckshot.
He shot me. I wasn’t even close to the zombies…Maybe he is not my friend after all?
Just a normal day in New York City.
I shot Francis back, that loser. That will make him think twice before shooting me. Then a smoker catches me, and then a man in a hoodie jumped me at the same time, and I died 
I don’t smoke because smoking is gross. I bet the man in a hoodie is part of a gang. I learned about gangs at school. I’ll bet Louis knows him.
Is Edward Norton getting royalties for this?
Then I got smashed by a big zombie, called a tank. When I grow up, I want to be a tank, then nobody can pick on me! I noticed they put my uncle in this game, he’s the one vomiting with no shirt on. My uncle scares me.
My mom says I have to stop playing this game or I’ll wet the bed again.
I rate this game 5/5 BRAINS!!!
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23 Comments
Yeah uh… your 9 year old cousin dished out 45 bucks to buy Left4Dead? How many 9 year olds have the attention span to save up that much? He must have skipped lunch at least 20 times. I suppose it’s the same kind of 9 year old that uses MS Paint to write sweet game reviews…
He can draw better then half the kids in my art class.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Epic win
” I bet the man in a hoodie is part of a gang. I learned about gangs at school. I’ll bet Louis knows him.”
I chuckled.
amazing artistry!!!!
Obviously this wasn’t written/drawn by a 9 year old and was meant as a satire… satires are usually funny though so maybe i am missing something.
“i bet louis knows him” good stuff man, any other cliches you want to bust out and attribute to a kid?
great review.I wonder if my nephew is scared of me when I drink.
a nine year old with L4D?
Why would the clerk sell that to him?!
Obvious photoshop.
like some fucking 9 year old kid is gonna say he wet the bed, stop trying so hard and get a job
Dude, we all know you wrote that article. Don’t insult your 9 year old cousin.
Lame. Just lame.
Dear Dirk Daggerknife,
This is obviously satire. It was obviously not written by a nine year old.
When you point out the obvious that does not make you cool, interesting, or give you the appearance of being informed.
Please cease from commenting on the internet, thank you.
shooped-you can tell by the pixels. i would know i’ve seen some good shoops before
its shopped not shooped and im braindead to even reply since it fuels the idiocy of people like you.
and its windows paint.
photoshoopdawhoop
Legit or not, you gotta find that stuff a tad bit funny. The childishness and the wording takes me back to primary (elementary in US) school.
I am yet to play Left 4 Dead since the Demo isn’t on Marketplace no more… I’ll borrow it from work :p
Good stuff, legit or otherwise.
this article is not funny.
im sorry dirk, you are right. I am just a bitter idiot, show mercy
“Yeah uh… your 9 year old cousin dished out 45 bucks to buy Left4Dead? How many 9 year olds have the attention span to save up that much? He must have skipped lunch at least 20 times. I suppose it’s the same kind of 9 year old that uses MS Paint to write sweet game reviews…”
you all are dumb asses
I love this article. It’s obviously not written by a nine year old, but hilarious nonetheless. Where have all the MS Paint Reviews gone??
Great article ^^ i love that naive style of writing and drawing! Really great! I’d love to read more articles in this style!
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[...] yesterday, but forgot to write about it. Apparently someone’s 9-year-old cousin has written a review of L4D. Here’s the reviewer’s impression of the [...]