For example, the other day I was driving back through a construction zone. Naturally, there was an orange diamond shaped sign labelled “Workers.” But that is not what my mind saw.

It's actually WOOKIEES but this fit better

For a moment, my heart stopped, and my mind raced for answers. What do I do if I see a wookie? They didn’t cover this in driver’s ed. I mean… they talked about road rage. They said to stay in your car. But that doesn’t work when a raging wookiee can pull you straight through your windshield.

FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Luckily, the sign actually said workers. And workers don’t stress me out as much as wookiees. Here in Illinois, I believe the fine for hitting a worker is around $10,000-$15,000 and 14 years in jail. Something like that. Totally not worth hitting a road worker. I don’t think there ever was a good reason to hit a worker in the first place.

Can you imagine the fine for hitting a wookiee, though? That has to be at least $50,000. Can you put a price on a wookiee’s life? Somehow I feel wookiees don’t place much importance in money. I don’t know if they have a stable currency. I bet if you hit a wookiee, that sort of thing would sort itself out.

The car is the least of your worries.

This whole train of thought brings up a lot of unnecessary questions. Numerous motorvehicle versus wookiee accidents would probably hurt foreign intergalactic relations between the US and Kashyyyk, the wookiees’ home planet. Just remember to watch out when you’re driving. Expect the unexpected. If you’re prepared for a rogue wookiee, you’ll probably be ready for anything aside from a death star attack– or a drunk driver.

PEW PEW